Updated: Mar 23
I know my last diary post here was a little tense and highly strung, but don’t worry. I’ve got the solution in this one! Don’t worry, I’m not going to go over the top and be all dramatic, what I mean with this one is that taking a break and calming yourself is exactly what you need to get you through those tough times.
Yes, being productive can help with the excess energy you feel, when you’re stressed or angry, but you still need to take a moment to calm yourself, so that you can think straight and be more in tuned with what the actual situation is.
Meditation Is Not Meditation
Ok, so here’s the thing that I know a lot of people struggle with. It’s the word…
Oftentimes, when you hear the word, you think monks in a temple going “ohm”. Now, yes that is meditation, but that’s sort of like a “higher form” of meditation. It’s more like a prayer, but standard meditation is nothing like that at all.
According to Wikipedia (yeah, ok, I know academics would rather I not use this, but it expresses what I need), meditation is…
“Meditation is a practice where an individual uses a technique – such as mindfulness, or focusing the mind on a particular object, thought, or activity – to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state.”
What that means is meditation is a means through which you can focus your mind. That is, it helps you think clearly about the problem you’re dealing with, whether it’s something physical, emotional or mental. Meditation helps you to think clearly. It isn’t about trying to reach a higher form of enlightenment. It’s about grounding your thoughts, giving you a better understanding of a situation, and being unbiased about it.
Why Do I Get Headaches?
Ok, now, I remember a few articles about people who suffer when they meditate. They get headaches, they get dizzy, they don’t feel good afterwards, and ok, that’s probably a lifestyle thing, or it’s not in their nature to be able to meditate and feel good afterwards. What I think, now don’t judge me on this because I’m working off personal experience, and I’ve not had to suffer something like this…what I think is that these people aren’t practicing it properly.
What I mean is, they’re too focused on the breathing, or they’re trying to clear their mind of their thoughts too quickly, and it’s very disorientating. I think, it’s because these people are trying too hard to focus their mind and trying too hard to clear their thoughts all at once. What I think they should do is to do it slowly. So, don’t force the thoughts away, let them come, but don’t dwell on them too long.
Ok, so let me give an example. Right now, I’m starting to stress over a video edit I need to do for another start-up I’m working on. My deadline is tomorrow, and I’ve barely got half of the video done. I still have about 3 minutes to go, which, in video editing time, takes about a day and a half, and I’ve got just barely under that to get the video complete. I also have another video to set up for, for the Feather’s Charm YouTube channel, because I want to start creating video content for this website, but because of all my current projects, I’m behind by a month to get it started. I’ve also got a novel to finish writing, I’ve got more crochet and sewing crafts I need to plan for, I have blog posts to write, I have job applications to make. Essentially, I could stress over every one of these things, and burn out in about 10 minutes. These thoughts run through my head every day, and yes, every now and then I do dwell on some of them, because I don’t know if I can manage all of this by myself.
What Is Your Method Then?
It’s simple. What I do instead of forcing the thoughts to the back of my mind, I let them come. So, like I said, I am stressing over a video edit I need to make, right now, and yes, it is constantly coming back to the forefront of my mind, but I simply let it be. What I do, instead of letting the thoughts roll over into one, I tell myself “Ok, I hear you. I will finish this first, and then I’ll get to you.” Then I let it go. I imagine it being pulled away from me, like a bedsheet on a clothing line, and letting it just billow in the wind, then I focus on what I need to focus on, in the moment, which is writing this blog post.
Now, I think that this is a form of meditation as well. It’s not the standard, sit in a quiet room and clearing your mind. I mean, I’m doing things while I’m meditating, and that may not be the standard practice, but doing something that your mind needs to focus on is a form of meditation anyway. Remember the definition? Meditation is a form of focusing the mind on a particular subject to return to a stable emotional state.
So, even though I’m doing something, and focusing on a task, that doesn’t mean I’m not meditating. Of course, it’s not relaxing, but that’s not exactly what meditation is about. It’s about balancing your emotional state, and if it means doing something to focus your mind, so be it.
The Mindfulness Of Meditation
Now, of course, there are times when I do need to actually relax, and yes, meditation can help with that. When it comes to that form of meditation that’s when I do sit in a quiet room and clear my mind. It’s not about helping me fix a problem, it’s about helping me to let go of the stress I’ve been feeling. This form is mindfulness. This one is what everyone gets iffy with, because it can cause headaches and stress. Now, mindfulness is more about letting go and letting you just be in the moment.
Ok, so what do I mean by this. Well, it’s just like what I said before, you don’t force your mind to not focus on anything. That’s what causes the headaches…or at least I think it is. So, here’s what I do. I imagine that clothing line, with all my thoughts pinned up to it. I let them come to my attention, so I pull that line, and look at that thought, or more rightly, I think about it.
Let’s say for example, I have lots of social media posts I need to make. I need to upload my daily writing prompts, daily thoughts, and weekly film posts, to pretty much all my social media channels, but obviously, I can’t do it right away, otherwise it breaks my moment. Now, when that thought comes, I let it flow through. I let myself become aware of it, but I don’t do anything about it, and I don’t stress over it. How? I say, again “I hear you. I’ll get to you but let me do this first” then I let it go. I pull on the line again and take a look at my other thoughts.
Once I go through all of them, and there’s no more line, I then focus on the moment I’m in. Of course, my thoughts might pull back and say, “no, you need to focus on this now” I tell it the same thing, “I hear you. I’ll get to you but let me do this first”. Then I refocus. I feel the sensations in my body, I feel the gravity of the earth and I let it pull me down, ground me and centre me. I focus on my breath. Now this is where the dizziness comes in for some people. They try to take deep breaths, and even their breathing out. That’s not what I do. When I say I focus on my breathing, what I do is notice how fast or how slow it’s going, how shallow or deep it is, and I just let it automatically go. If I have to take a deep breath sometimes, then I do. I don’t force it, but I allow that extra oxygen reinvigorate me.
Meditate Your Way
There you go! My form of meditation! Of course, it’s nothing new, but I think a lot of people get meditation mixed up and force it when they don’t need to. Meditation isn’t just about relaxing yourself, and letting go, sometimes it’s about focusing and concentrating. So, if you want to meditate, or you don’t know how try my methods out, and remember don’t force it. If it doesn’t feel right, stop. Try a different method and see if that works. I mean, sometimes I just stare into my lava lamp (a glitter star lamp, if I’m honest), and just watch the stars float up and drift down. Again, that’s a form of meditation.
So, do whatever works for you. Don’t conform to what others tell you meditation should be, and if you need help, there are so many apps, podcasts, soundtracks and online classes that should help you learn how to meditate. You just need to find the one that’s right for you.
Well, that’s it from me today, I’ll see you guys next time. For now, don’t forget to like, subscribe and follow for more updates and the latest posts here on Feather’s Charm and on my social media accounts. Oh, and share these posts with family and friends, those who you’d think might enjoy these topics and tips! I’ll see you later!