Stoke Your Inner Fire

Hello Everyone!

Today, I want to talk about confidence. I know it’s easy for a lot of people to say, “I have confidence in myself,” but how many of us believe it. For the most part I’m not confident in myself. I’m always second guessing myself, and because of that anxiety, I start to fade into my own fantasy worlds. So, why would I be confident in myself?

Of course, however, there are times when I’m overly confident. I’m sometimes too enthusiastic about the things I’m doing, I end up being somewhat narcissistic. What I mean is, I feel like I’m on top of things, and like I could take over the world, but eventually, reality comes crashing back down over me, and that confidence soon disappears and I’m back to being anxious again. So, what do I do? How do I overcome these dramatic mood swings? Well, I don’t know about you, but over the years, I’ve experienced so many things that make me swing one way or the other, and I’ve learned how to stop it, or at least deal with it.


The Best Motto – Everything In Moderation

This is my mom’s absolute favourite phrase, because it’s true with everything you do. When you eat, it’s ok to have a little bit of junk, every now and then. It’s ok to have that healthy meal that you think will help you lose weight, but don’t starve yourself. Don’t overindulge in those sweets and junk food.

The same thing can be said for your confidence as well. It’s ok to be anxious, and stressed out sometimes, but don’t go overboard. What I mean is don’t sink into the thoughts that might exacerbate the problem. While, yes, overthinking can help being productive, it can also hinder being productive as well. If you sink into stress and anxiety so much so you start to feel unmotivated, that’s when you know you’ve overdone it. So, what do you do? Stop, or at least take a break and breathe. Take a walk so you can clear your head. Work out so that pent-up energy can be expelled. Create art, bake, exert that energy, because eventually that motivation will come back, and you’ll be able to work again.

It works the other way too. Sometimes you can get overly confident about the things you do. Of course, this can sometimes be a good thing, because it forces others to respect you, since you know your craft, you know what you’re doing, but it may also make them think that you’re too arrogant. You might make the worst impression and they’ll think that you’re so self-centred, you wouldn’t care about their cooperation with you. Eventually, that trust you’ve built in them will crumble, and the support that they once provided you will slip away. Everything you’ve built up with them will disappear like dust in the wind, and you won’t be able to take it back. You’ll have to rebuild that castle without the resources they once gave you.

So, “everything in moderation,” is the best motto to ever have, because it’ll remind you to always stay true to yourself. It’ll remind you not to take too much for granted and not to be too paranoid over little things. By moderating what you do you’ll find everything will fit into place, one way or another.


Meditate For The Soul

I’ve said this before, and I will say it again. Meditation isn’t just about sitting cross-legged by a lake or on a mountaintop temple, and chanting “ohm”. This is a different kind of meditation, it’s more religious and spiritual, than practical. In practical mediation, you’re simply sitting in a chair, practicing breathing techniques that calm you down or reinvigorate you, and it depends on what type you’re doing, and for what reason too.

So, if you’re always anxious and stressed or paranoid, meditating in a way that redirects your energy to other thoughts and other things will help. It’ll take your mind off all the frightening possibilities you’ve been dwelling over. It’ll help reinvigorate you, so you can find the solution to the problem you’re having, and it’ll definitely help with removing all that anxiety and stress from your life. It may be boring at the start, it may feel weird, but if you can be determined enough to try, then try to keep going, and eventually you’ll find yourself practicing it every day.

Now, for those moments when you are overconfident, and you know that eventually that enthusiasm might bite back one day, meditate to calm yourself down. The prospect of something new and exciting in your life is great, because you feel like you’ve progressed from where you started and it’s thrilling to finally be able to move forward, but sometimes that can really make you crash back down into reality, and what you thought would lead to great things might lead you down a road that you can’t come back from. So, instead of diving headfirst into that new “dream come true”, take a moment to slow down, meditate so that your mind clears, and you can see the different flaws and pitfalls that come with the opportunity. Ask yourself if they outweigh the benefits. You’ll eventually see the bigger picture and the decisions you make will be all the better, because you took everything into consideration.


Release Your Energy

Now, this is a tip I go back to time and again, why? Because it’s all about using that excess energy that you’ve built up, unconsciously. When you’re anxious and stressed, it’s built up in your muscles, because you’re so tense. When you’re overly confident, it’s in your behaviour. The tip I’m talking about is doing something else.

I don’t mean do something time-consuming, you eventually forget the reason why you started. Don’t do a completely different project, because you don’t want to go back to the one that got you stressed, or that you got overly excited over. No, what I mean is take up an artistic skill, like baking, cooking, drawing or sewing. Work out, take a walk, spruce up your garden. Redecorate your house or apartment, clean, do the laundry. Do something that expends the energy you’ve accumulated, whether it’s through something physically demanding, or artistically demanding. Whatever it is you do, make sure it’s something you can do, in those moments between. Not only will it help clear your head you’ll release the energy that got you so tense in the first place.

So, if you’re anxious or stressed about something, take up a new hobby or work out, because that stress and anxiety will settle in your muscles. Your neck and shoulders will be stiff, your lower back might have problems because you’re probably sitting at your desk all day, or your head will ache from all the whirling thoughts in your mind. Take a moment, in your break times or when you’re between tasks just to practice something quick. It’s like when you used to doodle in class, while the teacher’s talking. It’ll help release that emotional stress because you’re focused on something that doesn’t require too much thought.

If you’re overly confident about something, however, take a walk, work out, clean or just do something that’s physically demanding. The excitement you feel is just another form of pent-up energy and it also needs to be released. It’ll bring you back to the reason why you took the opportunity in the first place, and it’ll give you time to think about what you’re really stepping into. Like I said before, if you dive in headfirst, into an opportunity that you didn’t do your research on, that little piece of information you overlooked could send your world crashing back down, and you’ll be left with nothing but rubble. So, take the time to really evaluate that opportunity, and ask yourself if it is right for you. When you do make that fateful decision, you’ll know you’ve chosen the right thing, because you considered all possibilities and are prepared for it.


It’s Your Choice

Now, there are so many more tips I can tell you, and no they can’t all fit in this post. Maybe one day I’ll come back to this topic, but I hope these three tips can help at least a little. Remember, if you ever feel too confident over something, dial it back down, so you can see the flaws and weight them out against the benefits. If you ever feel too anxious or stressed about something, take some time out to just let go of that stress.

Whatever you do, make sure it helps, and if necessary, talk to someone who can help, who can keep an eye on you, and make sure you’re doing ok. It’s not always about dealing with your problems on your own. Sometimes the best source of comfort and motivation are the people around us. So, if things really get too difficult, rely on them to help you out. After all, that’s why they’re there. They love you and they care.


Well, that’s it from me today, I’ll see you guys next time. For now, don’t forget to like, subscribe and follow for more updates and the latest posts here on Feather’s Charm and on my social media accounts. Oh, and share these posts with family and friends, those who you’d think might enjoy these topics and tips! I’ll see you later!


With love,


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